there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
