Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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