69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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