I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize