# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Pooping to opera.
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