Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
