I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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