did you get engaged???
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Randomize
