I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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