I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
