filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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