you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
