You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
