You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize