yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
