Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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