the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
