I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
