she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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