Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
