I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
