Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
