he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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