i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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