That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
