His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
