Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
pray to the hookup gods
Drunk is not a location!
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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