Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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