Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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