can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
