Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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