I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
