he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize