Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
