8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
