Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize