Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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