yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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