i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Walk of Shame today included voting.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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