She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
