Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
