no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
