You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
