no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
This toilet bowl is my home.
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