I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
