I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
