You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
