She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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