I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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