Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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