What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
