i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
