He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
