Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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