Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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