I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
