Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
