God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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