I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
