I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
This is my gift to your gina
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
