I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
