i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
