I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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