He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
