There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
