remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
