Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
